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05 February 2017 @ 02:21 pm
Fuck up, go fuck yourself.  
I hate my life, and I hate myself.
I ruin everything....

Why does he want to be with such a loser?
And worse yet... why does this loser keep it going?

If I were a decent person, I'd just end this already!
He's so much better off... He says he's not, but I can't see it that way.

I don't know what to do anymore... I try to think positively, but it always ends fucked up. I always ruin something.

No wonder he can't tell me why he loves me, or what I do that's good. I always put him on the spot by asking shit that he can never answer truthfully, simply because I'm pressing him into a situation where he can do nothing but lie. 

You know, it's a losing battle. Because even if he could tell me... I probably wouldn't believe him.

I'm so stupid... to think I ever did anything to deserve someone so kind.
I'm so stupid... for thinking something so disgusting is worthy of appreciation or praise.
I'm a piece of shit... for trying to put that on him.

Everything is doomed to fail, because I am a failure.

I don't want to be. But I am.

I'm going to ruin his life. I just know it.

I can't let this continue on the track it is on.
 
 
Current Mood: distresseddistressed